Wednesday Confession: Oh, baby

I want one.

  1. No, I’m not pregnant.
  2. Yes, I’m sure.
  3. No, we’re not trying.
  4. Yes, I do know babies aren’t all fun and games.
  5. Yes, I know that my life will be “over,” whatever the hell that means.

 

I don’t need a baby, and I don’t want one just to have one.  But I do have the desire to have a child, not tomorrow but soon-ish. A child that look a little bit like me and a little bit like Hubby.

While the “there’s no time like the present” me knows I want my own little love nugget, the rational me isn’t having it.  Hubby and I’ve been married for less than a year.  We’re only 25.  We don’t have enough money saved up.  There are still a few more things on our ‘to-do’ list to accomplish before we start planning.  We’re just not there yet.

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While we may not be there there yet, mentally – I’m there.  My hormones are there, I get misty eyed whenever I see a baby knocked out, riding in an ergo with his momma.  I know what kind of mom I want to be, what type of mom I can be.  Hubby will be an awesome father, he’s smart, gentle, caring, fair, and he wants to be dad.  I have no doubts about his capabilities.  I’ve already read enough pregnancy and parenting books for my doula certification and just because.  Sebastian and Squeaks will be great big brothers and sisters.

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I can do that.  I’m ready. At least as ready anyone is before they decide to grow another human inside them.  Yes, I know. “Be patient.” “Your time will come.” Blah, blah, blah.  I hear you.  I get it.

That wont stop me from putting all the baby things into my Amazon wish list until then.

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