Kittenhood Obesity

And it’s totally my fault.

*We watch a bit too much ‘Big Bang’ in our apartment, this guy has learned to claim “his spot.”


I’m one of those parents who let their child become obese.  At first, it was due to ignorance.  Sebastian was our first cat, and I didn’t know when to stop feeding him kitten food.  Apparently that’s when they’re about 15lbs.  Way to go, Mica.  Then he was prescribed diet cat food.  But because I’m dumb, he was allowed to free feed and ate constantly.  Imagine eating Lean Cuisines non stop, they’re not so lean once you’ve had 20.

Then along came Squeaks.  Cute and dainty, and could fit into your hand.  Once again, kitten food was back on the menu.  Since we left food out all day while we were away, Sebastian often found himself snacking on her food once he finished his because he’s an asshole.  Also because Squeaks eats like the dainty little princess she is.

After a visit to the vet, we discover that Sebastian has gained 5 pounds since he’s been put on his diet.  So we laid down the new law of the land.  No more “free feedings,” each gato has 10 minutes to eat their food and we have to watch them the entire time.  Since Sebastian’s the fatty that he is, he snarfs his down in the allotted time.  Squeaks, however, still hasn’t figured out that taking three bites here and there isn’t going to cut it.  We usually watch her until it looks like she’s done eating.  Luckily, she hasn’t lost any weight and isn’t being underfed, which is not the case for Sebastian.  That fucker has yet to lose a single ounce.

So last night, I thought it would be a great idea to leash train Sebastian.  That way we could go on walks and he’d be forced to exercise, since you can barely get him to chase any toys we have.  So I got a cat leash from PetCo and slapped it on him.


I’m not sure what sort of which-craft is in this harness, because Sebastian was rendered immobile once he had it on.  It was quite funny and sad at the same time.  His pathetic, fat ass had such a hard time walking around the apartment that he looked like he had development issues.  He might even be brain-damaged from the number of times he fell face first.  However, once I put some food in his bowl, somehow he was able to maneuver over to the bowl and eat.  Surprise, surprise!

After he ate the three nibblets I gave him, he flopped over and resumed his death stares.

I’ve ordered a different type of harness (and many toys) in the hopes that he’ll be more comfortable in it.  Eventually I’ll add the leash and see if I can walk around the hallways with him.  Then my cat lady transformation will be complete!

But something’s gotta change.  I can’t have my 2-year-old baby have health issues.  He’s my favorite (yes, I admit it) and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure he’s healthy.


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