Women of a Certain Age

And by “certain age” I mean anytime after she’s married or turns 24, whichever comes first.  After this time, people think it’s perfectly acceptable to inquire about your uterus, and it’s rude.

so rude

It’s not just rude, it’s invasive.  Why not ask “Hey, are you and your husband having unprotected sex?”  I smile and dodge your question when I really want to tell you to fuck off.  The thing is, anyone/everyone feels it’s ok to ask; family, friends, strangers on the street (seriously).  And everyone has something to say about it from “you’re much too young to have babies, just be married for a while,” to “you’ve been together for x years, get started on those kids!”

you don't know me1

You don’t.  You don’t know how my husband and I, or any other couple, feel about having kids (or maybe you do, if you read one of my previous posts).  It’s an extremely personal decision involving two people, and if you have to ask, you’re probably not one of the two.  There are many different variables that go into planning a family, and for us, we’re very conscious of how each aspect of our lives play into that decision.  We have to consider our careers, where we live, how much money we have, and our plans for the future.  Hubbs and I really, really want kids, it’s just not the greatest timing.  Right now, getting established in our careers now is the best thing we can do for our future family.  No one’s happy when mom and/or dad fucking hate their jobs.  Hubbs is working on getting into grad school and I’m also considering a career change – not the best time for making babies.  We want our kids to have happy/employed parents and a stable home, I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

And if you do know that a couple wants and plans to have kids, you probably don’t if they’re already trying and how that’s going.  If it’s not going well, they’re not going to want to talk about it.  About 10-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriages, and even one miscarriage can be extremely hard on a couple.  Or a couple can be experiencing fertility issues, secretly trying to conceive for months, or even years, without success.  You inquiring about a woman’s unoccupied womb is likely to bring up feelings that she is not going to want to discuss with you, Great-Aunt Judy.

Basically, if a couple wants to volunteer information about wanting or not wanting kids, trying to conceive, a false pregnancy, a miscarriage, a planned adoption, a failed IVF, or a terminal prenatal diagnosis, they will.  We all know you mean well, but I think it’s for the best if you don’t ask about what’s happening with her V and his P.

mind ya business will smith

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